Gratitude

I am thankful. :) Yes, this is another mushy, warm fuzzy list of what / whom I appreciate. And no, I'm not apologizing for it. Quite the opposite. I'm celebrating it!!

• I'm thankful for being able to put life in perspective. At least in this moment. 
• I'm grateful for "mistakes" that end up making life better.
• My Hawea is kind. And thoughtful. With just the right balance of independence and consideration for others, with a sense for when to stand strong and when to bend.  She inspires me and encourages me, and makes my world a brighter place to be. 
• Freedom. This might seem small but it's a VERY BIG DEAL. As a US Citizen, I have the right to speak my opinion without fear of losing my life, imprisonment, etc. And every single day, I take this right for granted. 
• Pajamas! Next to workout clothes, they're my favorite. 
• Margaritas and Mexican food. 
• January in Hawaii. Sunny skies and flip flops. 'Nuff said. 

Where I'm From

I am from peace.

I am from sunshine and laughter.

I am from the Kansas country

From dirt roads

 and open fields

and their windy, moody skies.

I'm from grandma's farmhouse kitchen

I'm from Hee Haw, Sunday comics

and re-runs of Highway to Heaven. 

I'm from grandpa's belly laughs
from parade floats and swap meets,
from dairy barns and DQ dilly bars,
and I'm from hundreds upon hundreds of pigeons. 

I’m from afternoons splashing in the shallow creek,

from gooseberry bushes and tire swings 
I'm from softball games on summer nights. 
I'm from buckets of homemade ice cream
and jars full of lightning bugs.
I'm from home-sewn clothing and kitchen table haircuts. 
I'm from hayrack rides and weenie roasts. 

I'm from the infinite, playful, abundant universe. 

I'm from Charlie and Jessie, 

from Melvin and Clara

from Gary and Karen

I'm from a family gathered in laughter and love. 

Hey Mickey, you're so fine..

They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  Almost a year ago, I called a local McDonald's  to complain that my order wasn't filled correctly. I was having one of "those" days and it really pissed me off to get to my lunch meeting and learn that my snack wrap was missing.  They apologized and sent me coupons for 2 free snack wraps. They followed up at a couple of different points since then to gauge my satisfaction.

And today, greeting me in the mail, were these bad boys!

2 promotional coupons for FREE snack size Chicken McBites as a thank you for being a valued customer. On one hand, I'm stoked. Chicken McBites are gooooooooooooood. On the other.... well, it's a little disconcerting that I'm getting loyalty gifts from a fast food joint. Know what I'm sayin???

At least I'm not on their Christmas card list yet.

In any case, a shout out to Mickey D's. Thanks for the grease.... err.... love.  It's a spicy little love offering, right?

Punch it, Margaret!

I don't quite know what's come over me.  Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, I am feeling sassy, saucy and ...... FED UP. To be honest, I felt like I was one car crash away from a Kathy Bates moment (ala Fried Green Tomatoes):

"In the quintessential display of strength, Evelyn rams into a car, six times no less, that steals a parking space for which she had been patiently waiting. When Evelyn tells the two girls who get out of the car that she had been waiting for the space, they scoff at her saying, "Face it lady. We're younger and faster." Evelyn, furious, punches the gas pedal to the floorboard and rams their car. When they run out of the grocery store screaming, "What are you doing? Are you crazy?", Evelyn blithely replies, "Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance." Driving away victoriously, she has become the great Towanda." 

 (Source: http://www.americanpopularculture.com/archive/film/towanda.htm)

I've noticed some eerie parallels between Evelyn's transformation and my own. Like her character, I'm cutting back on the junk food, feeling empowered through exercise (how I love to hate Jillian Michaels) and yes, beginning a career selling cosmetic products (she sold Mary Kay, I'm selling body wraps. Hello!?!?). If I'm not mistaken, there's a scene in the movie where Evelyn wraps herself in saran wrap to entice her distracted husband. So this is a bit of a stretch, but I have wrapped myself in saran wrap a few times in the past months (not to seduce my spouse, but to adhere said body wrap). It's a weird parallel, but a parallel nonetheless. 

My inner Towanda has spoken. She says that it's time to set boundaries. And stick to them. 

To be honest, my inner Towanda is freaking me out a little. (Perhaps I should purchase more auto insurance...)

The World Breaks Everyone...

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." -Ernest Hemingway

In my observations and personal experience, nothing seems more true. When I look back at my most painful wounds, it is there that I pinpoint the roots of my deepest strength. 


When I was 23, my dad died. I was shattered. For a long time, I couldn't even acknowledge the reality without a visceral, physical reaction.  There had been "an accident" and he had been "killed". Those words alone were too violent, too painful to stomach. I would wince in pain and clench my jaw every time I had to hear the story. And I had to hear it a lot, because my family members were grieving. I was grieving. I was angry, lost, and hurting. I thought I was forever broken. 


The good news is, that wasn't the least bit true. I do believe that there's a survivor's edge that comes from living through trauma. The loss of my dad changed my life in too many ways to name. It changed our family. It changed my relationships. It changed the way I viewed the world, and it altered my sense of self. I couldn't have known this at the age of 23, but these changes, and the person I am today,  are the scar tissue of a wound that has healed.


 Although sudden tragedy is an unwanted journey, the path is not devoid of beauty. 

An excerpt from a poem by Patricia Lynn Reilly hits the nail on the head, so to speak. (Did I mention, my father was a carpenter.) 

"Imagine a woman who acknowledges the past's influence on the present.

A woman who has walked through her past.

Who has healed into the present.""


Maybe this is one reason I love Devastation Trail in Volcano National Park (above). The area was decimated by a volcanic eruption years ago. New life is springing forth, yet sun bleached branches litter the area. Change is so beautiful. 

Behold the turtle...

"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out." - James Bryant Conant

Yesterday, I did something that would have totally freaked me out even a week ago. I went solo to my tattoo appointment, and in doing so, conquered a fear or two. This might seem small, but the significance is not lost on me. In my lifetime, I've wasted many opportunities to grow, change, and experience different things because I was afraid. That being said, I have also experienced great rewards by taking great risks.

My most rewarding risk in recent memory was to believe in myself. To view myself as capable, strong and worthy. You might wonder what's risky about that. The answer to that question is rooted in events in my past. I'm so thankful that I have finally discovered, truly, the power of living in the present.

So... back to my ink. ;)  It represents the honu (Hawaiian green sea turtle). The honu are known for being excellent navigators.  They are protected and have few predators. They honu live long lives and are symbols of longevity. I see them as gentle, knowing creatures living harmoniously with creatures of land and ocean. I see them as symbols of peace, and I love that they truly must stick their necks out to move forward. I chose this graphic because of the graceful "brush stroke" look... the top flippers remind me of angel wings... the body, reminds me of a heart.

Speaking of hearts, mine is full.

Nutrition Doesn't Have To Be Ugly :)

Sooooo.... in the interest of trying new things and getting out of my comfort zone, I dove into the world of green smoothies. Head on.
 
I followed some basic guidelines from a respected fitness buddy:  3-5 CUPS of spinach, water, ice, a scoop of vanilla protein powder and fruit. She cautioned against blending too much, "unless you want juice". She also suggested using lemon juice to bring out flavors. I didn't have any lemon juice, so I skipped it, and I used the only fruit I had: an orange.

It was NOT.SO.DELICIOUS. Not at all. I managed to drink half the glass. I will admit that it tasted "fresh", just not good.

And I decided that chunky smoothies are not for me. :)

"Green smoothie" take two:
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
A handful of frozen blueberries
A handful of frozen cherries
1 kiwi, sliced and peeled
1 tsp honey
1/2 scoop vanilla protein powder
one HANDFUL of spinach
3-4 ice cubes

I'm still wanting to decrease the amount of sugar. The only reason I used BOTH cherries and blueberries is because of their pigmentation. They're great at disguising the spinach.

I'm pretty sure I could get away with serving this to my kids. (If I had kids, that is.)

I'll keep working to refine it, and maybe, someday, I'll be ready for full-on "Hulk Juice". In the meantime, I'm just jazzed to be getting more greens in my day, in a totally tasty way!