Which is worse?

Which is worse: failing or never trying?

The old me would have said "failing". For a long time I kept myself confined to a box, one that only allowed me to do things that I would be good at. At a glance it seems like a good idea, after all, if you only do things you excel in, you don't have to look bad in front of anyone. You don't have to risk rejection or failure. But you also don't get to grow. Therein lies the problem.

I'm glad I realized this, and made some changes in my attitude. I don't live in that box of perfectionism any more.

These days, I put myself out there more often than not. I still get anxiety sometimes at the thought of trying something new and failing, but I've learned not to let that hold me back.

This blog is a great example. I'm new to the blogosphere, and I don't really know what I'm doing.  I don't have fancy graphics, a large following, a bunch of sponsors or a catchy format. But I do have fun when I sit down to write. I enjoy taking the time to ponder and probe the corners of my brain. On this journey of discovery, I have learned that I do, after all, have something to say.

Who knows if this will ever be a "real blog". It matters not. What matters is that I'm doing it.

What do you think? Is failing worse than never trying at all? 

On Office Dynamics

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU? 

For almost three years now, I've had the freedom of "working from home". There are many benefits to this setup, but the best part is freedom from "office dynamics".

This is my second "work from home" job and let me tell you, I'm grateful! Office environments, even ones with good leadership, can become toxic. Stuffy. Soul crushing. They bring out my inna-gangsta:

Scene from the movie "Office Space"

It's not a huge leap to put me in the picture above, after just one week of desk time. Constant exposure to workplace ick makes me want to break shit. Or slice tires. (Consider that this confession is coming from a generally nice person, who happens to be nicknamed "Sunshine". )

Marinating in other people's energy, hour after hour, day in and day out is distracting, not to mention draining. Before I know it, I'm focusing more on my relationships with other people, avoiding bad energy, striving to create good energy....  and the work ends up being secondary.

This can only mean one thing: I'm allergic to office dynamics. Some people are lactose-intolerant. Some people can't do gluten. "Office sensitivity" is a self-diagnosis, but I'm willing to be there are millions out there suffering.

The cure? Personal space - and a lot of it.

I'm more productive and satisfied when left to my own devices to get things done. I crave the solitude and the mental space it affords me. In isolation, I can actually hear my own voice, tap into inspiration and harness good ideas. It works for me.

What about you? What environment works best for you? 

Making It Matter

Question of the Day:

HAVE YOU DONE ANYTHING LATELY WORTH REMEMBERING? 

We went on a day trip to South Point on Saturday. It was my first time traveling down through isolated pasture land, over bumpy terrain (4 wheel drive required) through stretches of African-like savannah. Eventually, the road was too rough for our ride- so we parked and walked to our destination by the bay. Our little Hawaiian safari, complete with an ocean-side picnic and an afternoon of beach combing made for a memorable day.

This sign says "Protect the Land"

With Benny, one of our trusty travel companions for the day

When the road gets rough... walk! 

It was worth the journey to get down here. 

A perfect spot for an ocean-side picnic

A bit o' bubbly? Don't mind if I do! 

Benny says "Me too!"

Early treasures

It was super windy. Note to self: Always wear a hat at South Point :)

Happy travelers,  heading home, with drift wood in tow. 

Have you done anything lately worth remembering? 

To seek or to settle?

DO YOU ASK ENOUGH QUESTIONS OR DO YOU SETTLE FOR WHAT YOU KNOW? 


Depending on the circumstances, I am prone to both. I am an inquisitive person at heart. I enjoy asking thought provoking questions. It's fun to stir the pot with some self reflection and encourage others to take a look inside every now and then.

At work, I frequently probe and clarify to ensure that I understand the situation. Understanding the issue helps determine logical solutions.

But I also believe there's a time and place for peaceful settling. Every traveler requires periods of rest. It's a delicate balance, one I'm just beginning to understand.

What about you? Do you ask enough questions? Or do you settle for what you know? 

If I had it to do over again...

Today's question is: 

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU SPENT MORE TIME DOING FIVE YEARS AGO? 

Five years ago it was 2007. I had lived on the Big Island for a year and was still getting a feel for my new life. 

1. We were still adjusting to life as caregivers Hawea's grandpa. He LOVED ice cream. And car rides. And patches of blue sky. Such simple pleasures and they were easy to give. Now that he's gone, I wish we would have done more. 

2. Beach bumming, baby! It took me a good 3 years of living here before I ventured to the beach by myself. I have since seen the error of my ways and go as often as possible. It amazes me that I let three years of beautifully beach-worthy days pass right by.

At Richardson's (black sand) beach

Beach 69

3. Eating right and exercising. I"ll lump these two together since they're two sides to the same coin. Five years ago, I believed ice cream, popcorn, Burger King and beer were the main food groups. A typical breakfast consisted of Cheetos and Mountain Dew. (I'm slightly horrified as I write this and realize how completely TRUE it was.) Long story short - I got sick, and changed some habits so I could feel healthy and strong.  And my life is much better for it! 

Better choices these days!

Being active is awesome! Standing with Flat Stanley on the bottom of a volcanic crater. 

4. Saving money for travel. It's expensive to fly back to the mainland. I missed a dear friend's wedding because I didn't have it banked. Not going to let that happen again! 

5. And last but not least, SMILING, relaxing, loving life and being thankful. I'm sure I did my fair share, but in this case, more is always better. To quote a line from Dawson's Creek.... "Too much of a good thing is an even better thing."

What do YOU wish you spent more time doing 5 years ago? 

Life Lessons

Today's question is: WHAT LIFE LESSON DID YOU LEARN THE HARD WAY? 

To be honest, the answer isn't jumping out at me. Maybe it's the fact that I don't like to admit my struggles publicly or dwell on painful experiences, and this question is asking me to do just that. But maybe, the answer to this question lies in my feelings about it. It's okay to have limitations and acknowledge them. It's not only okay, it's essential. To feel guilty or ashamed for being imperfect or making mistakes is something like a tree beating itself up for dropping its leaves in the fall.

Imperfections are part of what make us human. Nobody's perfect. No one. Not friends or relatives who are blessed beyond their wildest dreams, not celebrities, not our mentors or heroes. After all, we're all human. Simply put, perfection is an unhealthy and unrealistic expectation to strive for. Expecting perfection is a setup for disappointment and frustration.

The following example illustrates how early in life this pattern can take root. At the age of two years old, my parents dressed me in shoes with laces. My little brain would look down and see that one side of the bow and tie was longer than the other. It wasn't perfect - and in my little world, lopsided laces it were NOT OKAY!

Lopsided loops like these caused serious chaos in my childhood home,
until I learned a few magic words.

This caused endless meltdowns - hissy fits, tantrums, fixations - until my Dad taught me the following mantra:  "One's too long and one's too short but I can manage". Thank goodness for an attitude shift and a little common sense.

These days, it's someone's bossy tone of voice or selfish behavior that's more likely to set me off. Until I remember..... hey, I've acted that way too. Probably a lot more recently than I'm willing to admit. A dose of humility and a generous helping of compassion go a lot further than rigid, unforgiving expectations. 

By letting go of the perfect ideal, we free ourselves to appreciate the imperfect reality. When we look at ourselves and the world with forgiving, loving eyes, life is more friendly and fun. I started learning this lesson when I was two, and 33 years later, I'm still working on it.

What life lesson did YOU learn the hard way? 

What gets you going?

Question of the Day:

WHAT GETS YOU EXCITED ABOUT LIFE? 

^^This!! ^^

Please don't misunderstand me. My past is filled with awesome moments. The fabric of my life is woven with precious memories and experiences I wouldn't trade for the world. But (as I shared in yesterday's post), the past is the past. No matter how good or terrible it was, it's moment in time has come and gone. 

What excites me about life, really, is my ability to create what I experience NOW. And the moment after that, and the moment after that. 

I've always been a dreamer. My very first post on this blog alludes to that. Some people live in the dark restrictiveness of what can't be. I live in the light of what could be. Nothing makes me happier.

What lights your fire? What gets YOU excited about life?