My Shadow

My shadow wears

                                                           tank tops

 flip flops

 yoga pants 

and she knows the order of things

her hair like octopus arms

 My shadow is a sneaky ninja

free like the wind 

rooted like a tree

 a taller, lighter version of me.

This week has been a mixed bag. I guess that's what life is though, right? "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." God bless Forrest's mama. 

On Monday I posted about how great the day had been, how productive I felt. I knew better than to expect ponies and rainbows all week, but I was caught off guard when I heard of the sudden death of Theo, a family friend. Theo is a bit younger than my parents and was a fixture of my childhood. We're distantly related, and I always thought of him as a friend. The kind of person you love because you want to, not because you have to. 

Of all people, I know how precious life is; how everything can change in an instant. (See my previous post - The World Breaks Everyone). Just when you think you're unshakeable, something happens that shakes you to your core all over again. 

Thinking about how short life is... I realized I didn't want to waste another minute of my afternoon. I stole off to the beach, my happy place, and I went for a swim. My perspective is always deeper, broader, different when I am in the water. I dried off in the sunshine, only half caring that I was playing hooky to be there.

It was a pretty good day!

For a Monday, this day rocked!

I started the morning with a cup of coffee, followed by a green smoothie. I must say, the smoothies are getting better, and I'm happy with the fact they contain a full day's serving of fruits and vegetables.

My first meeting of the day was with a youth on my caseload, his mother, and his probation officer. It was successful! After months of hard work with this family it finally feels like it's paying off. What a great feeling. :)

I had a parent session later in the day, followed by a run / walk in the heat of the afternoon. I'm being generous to call it a run. On the bright side, it was 75 minutes of sunshine. 75 minutes of freedom.

After that, I sandwiched in some errands with Jenn, then Kristi came over after work and we wrapped. She brought chocolate covered strawberries (Holy deliciousness!!!) and I finished the night in front of the TV, wondering how much longer it will be before Ben discovers that Courtney is a raging B.

Yep, that sums it up. It was indeed a pretty good day. :)

She Let Go

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around in her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.

No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone  forevermore.

~Ernest Holmes

*Crediting Raven Joy of the Big Island for the material for this post. This is her original photo, which she shared on Facebook a couple of years ago. Pictured is Faith, arms open in crashing Tsunami waves.  Raven recently posted the writing by Ernest Holmes as well.  It seems the two should be paired together. Thank you, Raven, for sharing your creativity so freely. Letting go is a beautiful thing. 

Snapshot Sunday

Some sweet moments of this past week:

This was too sweet. Addi sprawled across my lap, saying "LOVE ME". 

Nifty green clutch, half price at Target.
Caramel frappucino. 'Nuff said. 

Cha-ching!!! The body wrap business is paying off. :)
Actual cash deposit from wraps sold this week.  

Playing with Instagram. 

Mediterrani-yum flatbread pizza from Jamba Juice. 

Goodie case at Hana Hou Cafe in Naalehu.
  (I didn't order, but felt the need to snap a pic.) 

Saturday night at Lucy's Taqueria 

Flower power on my Thursday morning run. 

And last, but not least, amused by this handsome fella in the driver's seat
outside KTA.

TGIF!!! Today in pictures.

Lots of lovely scenery today. This doesn't do it justice. 

Extreme Shed and Shred with Jillian. Interrupted 3 x by the on call phone,
but got it done. :)

Turkey sub on Punaluu sweetbread bun.

Delicious (dangerous) discovery: Bismarck at Punaluu bakery.
Fudgy, custardy, donutty goodness. 

On the road again...

"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling." - Margaret Lee Runbeck 

The home stretch

Mauna Kea morning

 Wouldn't you be smiling too?? 

Running and Love

A couple of years ago, I fell in love with running. We had a great go, running and I,  but eventually, the honeymoon ended. We tried to make it work, but my heart wasn't in it. It seemed easier to let it go.

I'm ashamed to admit that I was kind of a bitch about it. Poor running never did anything wrong to me, it was always there, faithful and waiting with the same reliable benefits. But the spark had worn off and I wanted something more. At least, I thought I did.

I started by telling running i wanted to have an open relationship. I wanted balance in my fitness regime. So I brought some DVDs to the mix. Then I started coming up with excuses - reasons to give running the brush off.  "I get bored. I need a running buddy. I need better music. I need new shoes. I'll never be fast. It's just not fun anymore." And on, and on, and on.

And now, post break up, I'm shocked to discover how much I miss it.  Apparently absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I realized this morning, that I fell in love for a reason. With each new accomplishment (longer distance, faster time), I got a rush. I felt strong. I felt free, and at the same time, grounded and at home in my own skin. When I was running, I was connecting to something much bigger than me. Good ideas would flow. I was happy.

With this in mind, I decided this relationship is worth saving. I want to do some things differently this time around. I want to just be present in the process. Stop the inner dialogue. Run more, judge less. Enjoy. Appreciate my body's capability. And be thankful.

Running, I love you. I really do.