Running and Love

A couple of years ago, I fell in love with running. We had a great go, running and I,  but eventually, the honeymoon ended. We tried to make it work, but my heart wasn't in it. It seemed easier to let it go.

I'm ashamed to admit that I was kind of a bitch about it. Poor running never did anything wrong to me, it was always there, faithful and waiting with the same reliable benefits. But the spark had worn off and I wanted something more. At least, I thought I did.

I started by telling running i wanted to have an open relationship. I wanted balance in my fitness regime. So I brought some DVDs to the mix. Then I started coming up with excuses - reasons to give running the brush off.  "I get bored. I need a running buddy. I need better music. I need new shoes. I'll never be fast. It's just not fun anymore." And on, and on, and on.

And now, post break up, I'm shocked to discover how much I miss it.  Apparently absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I realized this morning, that I fell in love for a reason. With each new accomplishment (longer distance, faster time), I got a rush. I felt strong. I felt free, and at the same time, grounded and at home in my own skin. When I was running, I was connecting to something much bigger than me. Good ideas would flow. I was happy.

With this in mind, I decided this relationship is worth saving. I want to do some things differently this time around. I want to just be present in the process. Stop the inner dialogue. Run more, judge less. Enjoy. Appreciate my body's capability. And be thankful.

Running, I love you. I really do.