I'm ashamed to admit that I was kind of a bitch about it. Poor running never did anything wrong to me, it was always there, faithful and waiting with the same reliable benefits. But the spark had worn off and I wanted something more. At least, I thought I did.
I started by telling running i wanted to have an open relationship. I wanted balance in my fitness regime. So I brought some DVDs to the mix. Then I started coming up with excuses - reasons to give running the brush off. "I get bored. I need a running buddy. I need better music. I need new shoes. I'll never be fast. It's just not fun anymore." And on, and on, and on.
And now, post break up, I'm shocked to discover how much I miss it. Apparently absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I realized this morning, that I fell in love for a reason. With each new accomplishment (longer distance, faster time), I got a rush. I felt strong. I felt free, and at the same time, grounded and at home in my own skin. When I was running, I was connecting to something much bigger than me. Good ideas would flow. I was happy.
With this in mind, I decided this relationship is worth saving. I want to do some things differently this time around. I want to just be present in the process. Stop the inner dialogue. Run more, judge less. Enjoy. Appreciate my body's capability. And be thankful.