"When Bad Muffin Top Happens to Good Women"

How could you not want to read an article like that? Armed with the latest issue of O magazine, I settled in for a bubble bath, intent on learning all the ways to disguise said muffin top, armpit fat, turkey neck and cankles. Got "mom butt", "chub rub", back fat or bat wings? Oprah has a fix for that.

I found the array of solutions to be both horrifying and intriguing. I knew Shapewear existed, but I thought Spanx were for American Idol contestants and loyal bridesmaids. The world of spandex panties and skyscraper heels is a mystery to me. I can't quite wrap my brain around pouring / squeezing myself into these contraptions as a matter of daily habit.

I'm thankful for women who do though. Otherwise, I wouldn't be giggling as I google "butt boosting panty". Apparently, Booty-Pop comes in sizes "Sweet", "Sweeter" and "Sweetest"!

Let's just say, I am a creature of comfort. If it doesn't feel good, I won't wear it. Which is why I'm tempted to get my hands on a pair of these puppies:


















Who cares if the jeans are ugly? Thanks to Oprah, I now know I can use a pretty scarf to distract the eye from all things unsightly, turkey neck included.

And she gets bonus points for showing the clueless how to tie it. :) Oprah, what would we ever do without you?