Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Choices

Today, I'm choosing to be the best I can be.
 I don't need to worry about if I can maintain it for the rest of my life.
 All I need to focus on is here and now. 
This moment. 
And in this moment, I have everything I need. 
And I am thankful. 
In this moment, I have love.
 I have health.
 I have well being. 
I have the wisdom of experience. 
I have the ability 
to view my failures and mistakes
 through friendly eyes
and an open heart. 
In this moment, I trust. 
I have faith. 
And I choose love. 

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Freedom is a choice

"When you are steadfast in your abstention of thoughts or harm directed toward yourself and others, all living creatures will cease to feel fear in your presence. " - Wayne Dyer

In order to move forward and become the people we're meant to be, we have to be willing to give up our attachment to the past. Using today's precious life energy to carry the hurts of the past is an act of limitation of the future. To be free, we have to choose to be free. To forgive, to quit blaming and to refuse to harbor hostility toward self or others from this point forward. I choose to be free. 

Love is emotional

Aloha all... 
This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. It seems like there is a lot going on in the various realms of my life.

 Home and personal life have taken center stage lately.  Last Friday, H and I began revisiting the idea of adoption and building our family. This is not a new conversation, but it resurfaced (seemingly suddenly) because of a deeply personal situation involving dear family and friends. It's been an emotional (and at times, heartbreaking)  discussion to say the least, and our minds have been baby focused ever since.

Monday started off strong and optimistic. I woke up to Whitney Houston in my ear and a gorgeous blanket of snow covering Mauna Kea and was inspired to get out for a morning run. The soundtrack of the day was "When you Believe". I was fueled by the idea of miracles.
Snow on Mauna Kea... a Monday in February
Tuesday was a mixed bag, catching up on paperwork for my job, and still trying to balance my emotions on the whole baby conversation, while maintaining healthy habits. (Eating well, exercise, meditation, kindness to others, all that good stuff.) 
Efforts at being healthy: fried egg with fresh island salsa.
Wednesday was a long drive (120 miles) for work and making more efforts to trust my intuition and do what I think is right, even if it goes against the grain.  Some days it hits me, how far removed LOVE is in the realm of social services.  That's just not right. What's life for, if not to give of ourselves to make this world a better place? 
Wednesday's napping kitty

Thursday was more discussion about choices. There's a sense that we're living a life that's too small. That we're here to do something bigger, to do more with what we've been given. Something I admire about H is her generous spirit. She gives to give, not for the purpose of getting something in return. And she doesn't give when she's not inspired. Unlike many people who are conditioned to be "people pleasers". If H is giving you her time and attention, it's genuinely coming from a place of love. Good values for raising children... don't you think? 

We were too busy to do much meal planning, so we threw a dinner together.
Salad with hard boiled eggs, feta, pepperocinis and bacon wrapped scallops. Nom Nom Nom!! 
On Friday, we celebrated Christy's 60th birthday with a small gathering. We had kalua pork, spinach and rice, taro bread, and a salad, followed by chantilly cake and haupia ice cream. 
Family. 
Friends since elementary school. Auntie Di has been lifting heavy weights,
so picking up the Birthday Princess was nuthin.  ;)
Friday night with family and friends was a totally appropriate way to wrap up the week. H couldn't help herself and began talking with our aunties about the adoption discussion, and the possibility of going through foster care licensure in the meantime.  Which led to more discussion about what that entails.... to be continued.


Friday, February 24, 2012

The Gift

I feel the need to share this today. 
I've always had a fair amount of intuition, but I haven't always been willing to 
follow it. 
Sparing details for the moment, a lot has been happening lately.
 I've been making a point of consciously tuning in
to my intuitive mind, 
to actively embrace the gift. 
It's amazing how the obstacles presented by the rational mind 
are but mere hurdles you can fly over 
when you're aligned with spirit. 
More to come...

Inspired and humbled

Free yourself  
of
regret and shame
Jump up
and try again 
expect to rise 
love 
yourself
never give up


It was a touching day in helping-hands-land. It was one of those days where I questioned myself: Have I listened deeply enough? Have I examined the situation closely enough? Did I try hard enough? Did I love enough?

It's an honor to do the work that I do, and I hope I always remember that. These young lives are sacred. I love that I can see the goodness, in the midst of fire and ice.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Weekend, I love you!


How I've been coping with work.
"Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, you're only a daaaaaaaaaaaaay away!"
I decided to switch out the Annie energy and give Rosie the Riveter a try.
Thoughts like
 "I'm a badass."
"I can deal with tough shit"
"I can handle anything" 
got me through a difficult week. 

Finally! The weekend! :)
(And a build-your-own-kebob-bar). 

Huge waves at Volcano ... standing on a cliff overlooking this, I got soaked. 
Waves rolling into several cliffside caves. 
Saturday hike out to see the petroglyphs. My first time to view them.
I was in awe. What an incredible place I live in. 
Post wedding thank-you dinner at K&K's.
 Whole grain garlic bread (done on the grill with loads of garlic), kebob and
a tasty veggie salad.


Cheers to the weekend! It's just what the Dr. (would've) ordered. :)

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Yuck. Today sucked. (But I rocked!) Moving on.

I am so seriously pooped today! Talk about the "Hump Day from Hell".

I'll spare you the details, but the summary is this: my day ended up being a total juggling act. I ended up with waaay more work than time to do it in, and it was a challenge to keep all the balls in the air at once.

I did my best to keep calm. To be honest,  I'm pretty impressed with myself and my triage skills. A year or two ago, a day like this would've brought out my worst side. Pretty sure I would've acted like it was the end of the world.

Today? It was just a shitty day.

We all have them.

Thank goodness for my level head, for my friends who let me vent (for a mere 25 cents a rant), for the bottle of chianti that V brought home, and for the pizza delivery guy who made dinner a no-brainer.
BLT pizza from Big Island pizza. That's mayo swirled over the top, lettuce and tomato.
It's good stuff, Maynard! 



Tomorrow will be better. It has to be.